Dangerous Prayers
One prayer that I’ve found myself praying this new year goes something like this…
“God, search my heart and dismantle every other kingdom but yours in my life.”
It’s a good prayer that finds its roots in Matthew 6:33. But the more I think about it, the more I realize how dangerous that prayer really is. What if God actually took me up on that offer? Do I really mean those words? Could I bear to see that there are other kingdoms competing for real estate in my heart?
The truth is - He has already accepted this invitation. In fact, He’s been doing this for some time now.
Over the last couple years, I’ve been catching God at work in the caverns of my soul. I use the term “catching” because I am largely unaware of what He’s doing in me on most days. But at some point in the work He clues me in. Naturally, I pretend I knew all along. He just smiles.
It’s like my life is a giant renovation project of which I have not seen the complete blueprints. I get glimpses of what He’s up to, but am often left waiting in faith. It’s like walking through a construction zone with a blindfold. You can hear the noises of demolition and the sounds of power tools, but still be clueless about what’s happening. You just know there is some kind of deconstruction and reconstruction.
In those deconstruction times - the moments where He is kicking down an interior wall, I often have no idea why He would do such a thing. All I know is that I liked that wall. It was a pretty color. I have memories with that wall. I even hung shelves on that wall to display my trophies. And then He destroys it without asking me first. That wall is usually an inferior way of thinking that has worked for some time, but no longer.
Or even more frustrating are the times when I decide to join in on the renovation. Without asking about the plan, I pick up my tools and decide a wall would look good on that side of the room. I start framing the wall, and then He comes by with a saw and cuts it in half….again, with a smile on His face. All that work - only to be dismantled.
This last year I can point to so many times where I thought I had the best ideas for His church, for the conferences we do, for the people we reach, for my own family. But the Lord, in His mercy, always found a way to rearrange things in a way that I wouldn’t expect, but in the end have proven more fruitful and left me with more peace.
He seems to like doing that. Not destroying our lives, but removing the things that get in the way of His plan, His blueprints, His kingdom in our lives. It’s only because He is good and knows that only He can be our deepest joy. For that reason, He gladly accepts invitations to eliminate other plans that don’t start and end with His Kingdom. Then he rebuilds us with a foundation of righteousness, peace, and joy.
With that said, what prayers are you praying these days? Do you really mean what you pray? Are they safe prayers or dangerous prayers? What would happen if God answered your most dangerous prayer?
